On recent events...

Today was way stressful!! I got threw it though without going through I depressed phase!!! Lol. Anyways, it seemed like everything that could go wrong, did. I did let it get to me though. ^-^ Oh, okay, maybe I did get a little frustrated and yell a bit but not THAT much. Haha, anyways, I'm proud of myself!! So, one of my friends has been talking to me about some personal issues and I wanted to help, but didn't know how. I decided to talk to my mum and we had a long convo. Apparently she knows quite a bit about the subject... I never knew that. Now I know where I get it from. Lol. Most of you won't understand that. Anywhozzles... (haha love ya Shane!) Mr. LaCombe wants more pics so here are some random ones...

On religion...

I know it is extremely controversial, but I am pretty confused right now so I thought I'd share my views. Please don't be disrespectful if you comment.

I think the existence of God is possible; however, I think He is a lot different then how people see Him. I think He has no problem with same sex relationships because why would He make people that way if He wasn't? God loves all creatures no matter what.
I have always found it hard to believe in God because of something my father once told me. Have you ever been afraid of the dark when you are alone, but fine when someone is with you? That's what he sees God as; the thing people make up to feel safe in the "dark".
Recently one night, I was lying in my dark room crying because I suffer from long term depression. I asked out into the darkness for someone to help me. To save me from my pain. I was determined to ignore everyone the next day and just be miserable. I went to bed and when I woke up I was scared. I'm not sure why but I texted my friend right away. Needless to say, I wasn't emo that day.
Now some would immediately assume this was an act of God, but not me. I take a slightly more... analytical approach. I prefer to look at a topic from multiple points of view before I form an opinion on it. That's why I think that another possibility is that it is in fact the human mind. My bad mood and fear of becoming depressed would obviously give me a nightmare. I scarcely remember my dreams. That would cause me to wake up frightened.
As Mr. Valletti has said many times, reality is based upon how a person perceives things. I suppose I have the ability to alter reality in the sense that I can see things in different aspects.

Freewrite #2

On my purpose...
I'm just another body, getting in your way. I'm just another annoyance, ruining your day. The only reason I'm still here, is to wait for my last night. The one that may never come. I'll tell you I'm done waiting for someone to save me, but it's a lie. I still hope and pray that one person will be my salvation. A guardian angel; that's what I need. Someone to make me laugh and smile. Who can understand and help. A person who will help me do the right thing and catch me when I slip up. Someone who may even show me something I've never believed in before. Is it him? Is it her? Have I met them before? Do I see them everyday? Are they moving away? Will I meet them in a day, a month, a year? Or are they really even here?

Freewrite #1

It's a little late so it doesn't make sense for this date lol. I wrote it February 19th.
Zomg! Cookies!
Iz mah birthday! So now you say "Happy Birthday" and I smile and say "Thanks!" Um, so far today is rockin'! I got Skittles, a teddy bear, and a really funny card. I also had a few friends who were mad at me because I didn't tell them it was my birthday. Lol. I don't tell anyone until the day of because I hate getting presents. I also got an Ipod. I was attacked by two posters today!!! I was like WTH?!? Lmao.

On Fruity Pebbles and "Random"...

Okay, I'll start with saying, what IS random? It's usually considered anything that has no apparent connection to what you're talking about. My problem is that to the person who said it, it's not REALLY random. They were most likely thinking about it before they brought it up; therefore voiding its randomness. Am I right or am I right?

Now... Fruity Pebbles!! Where to start? Um, okay, when you eat Fruity Pebbles, doesn't leave a weird feeling on the roof of your mouth? Also, this is the only cereal that I like to let turn soggy before I eat it. I know, I know. Sounds gross right? Well havn't you seen it? It absorbs the milk like a friggin' SPONGE!!! It's so weird... or am I alone with this one, too?

Hamburger Helper with garlic butter!! Go Second Period!!

On the lyrics...

The Last Night

Boy:

"You come to me with scars on your wrist

You tell me this will be the last night feeling like this"

Girl:

"I just came to say goodbye

I didn't want you to see me cry,

I'm fine"

Boy:

"But I know it's a lie

This is the last night you'll spend alone

Look me in the eyes so I know you know

I'm everywhere you want me to be

The last night you'll spend alone

I'll wrap you in my arms and I won't let go

I'm everything you need me to be

Your parents say everything is your fault

But they don't know you like I know you

They don't know you at all"

Girl:

"I'm so sick of when they say

It's just a phase, you'll be o.k. you're fine"

Boy:

"But I know it's a lie

This is the last night you'll spend alone

Look me in the eyes so I know you know

I'm everywhere you want me to be

The last night you'll spend alone

I'll wrap you in my arms and I won't let go

I'm everything you need me to be

The last night away from me

The night is so long when everything's wrong

If you give me your hand

I will help you hold on

Tonight, tonight

This is the last night you'll spend alone

Look me in the eyes so I know you know

I'm everywhere you want me to be

The last night you'll spend alone

I'll wrap you in my arms and I won't let go

I'm everything you need me to be

I won't let you say goodbye

And I'll be your reason why

The last night away from me

Away from me"

-Skillet

On my new favorite band...

Skillet!!!

They totally rock! Thier songs are about how REAL people REALLY feel and think! This song is my favorite, The Last Night. Listen to it. The girl is how I feel. Where's the one who will hold me?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xqf6HNZOU9g

Vicous Cycle

Sitting at the end
Of an old decrepit dock
Staring at the murky sea
With its dark and gloomy skies

The wind gently blows
Chilling my skin
And suddenly I shudder
But not from cold, from thought

I sit and ponder
My sad, lonely thoughts
And wonder why
You all care for me

I'm not worth the trouble
I cause you all pain
I lie and I'm selfish
I act like I care

But in the end
After you have given me
Your fragile heart
I always break it

It slips through my fingers
Then hits the ground
Shattering into a million pieces
That I can't put back together

And when I see your pain
I yearn to help
But when I try
I hear your wince

I know I've messed up
So I say I won't do it again
But sure enough
I receive another fragile heart

On what to do...

when the only person I wanna talk to is the one I seem to hurt the most? He makes me smile when I feel like crying, he understands me when I lose my mind, and he chills me out when i'm pissed. He knows when to joke with me and when to comfort me and when to laugh at me. He doesn't judge me. He's honest with me and will tell me if i'm being stupid. He is everything I need him to be, but I (for some stupid reason) keep refusing to be the one thing he needs. Is it because I don't wanna hurt him? Maybe, but i've hurt him so much already and he stays with me. Is it because I don't like him? Definantly not. Is it because i'm insane and just don't know what I want? Probably. Ugh. Sorry just venting. No need to comment unless you really wanna.

On MY randomness...

Where to start... well the other day I was eating Pringles with my friend Snow and some how got onto the subject of thier shape. I've had this thought multiple times, but he says I'm weird and no one else has. I wanna prove him wrong so answer HONESTLY please. Ok, have you ever noticed that the curve of a Pringle fits almost perfectly on the tongue, but the salty side is on the opposite side? Lol. Maybe I am just weird.

Another thing that I think proves I'm outta my mind is that last year I came up with a plan to take over Canada (aka Canadia). Before I start, I've got to give credit to my bro, Zack, who helped in some of the planning. I'm going to train a pure white bunny to attack anyone who says the word "ay". Then I will move to Canadia and put the bunny in my snowy lawn with a sign that says "Beware of Attack Rabbit!". Then some Canadian will walk by and be like, "What's an attack rabbit, ay?" and the rabbit will attack them. Then other people will be like, "Omg! He's being attacked by a rabbit, ay!" And so on so forth. Lmao.

Oh, and just fyi, please don't use the words terrorist, bomb, or unibomber around me. LMFAO! Peace out, yo!

On how people thinks SHE'S stupid...

Don't EVER lie to me cuz I know when you do. Even the best liars can't fool me. Yea, I might give up, but I know you are friggin' lying people! If you are sad, don't bother trying to hide it around me cuz I can sense it. If you do something you don't wanna tell me, don't make it so friggin' obvious. If you and the guy you like (but shouldn't be messing with) wanna go do whatever it is you went to do, don't lie about it. If you were really going to Trig, you would have invited me. And since when do you EVER miss practice. You are there more then me! Just don't lie to me okay? Cuz it really upsets me (obviously) and I am so much smarter then you think I am. Ugh! This is one thing I wouldn't mind talking about so if you wanna listen email me at MizzyMoo93@gmail.com. K, Buh-Bye!

Sometimes I just don't wanna talk about it...

Just because something is wrong and I'm not hiding it, doesn't mean I feel like talking about it. I don't really mind any more but I had a really bad day and didn't wanna think about it. If I say drop it, you should really leave me alone. Um... let's see... today sucked because I fell asleep before doing homework and getting my ROTC uniform ready. Then when I did wake up I couldn't get outta bed. I got my stuff together and made it to the bus but then on the way to school this annoying freshman was bothering me... again. It's because he likes me. Grrr... And then I find out we are getting report cards. OMG!! It was devastating. I got 2 F's and an N. How come I got a promotion in ROTC? So now I have to talk to Sgt. Stradford about that... and I'm scared. I also yelled at my bestest buddy, my friend Bryen (sorry bout that), and my stepdad. Now I feel like I'm ignoring Peter. I hope he's not upset... And this person (Someone From The Dark) seems interesting. I wanna know who you are. If you don't mind telling me, email me. Or just email me and don't tell me who you are. I don't really care. Oh and I'm feeling a little bit better now. Thank you Snowflake, Kinohi, and um... oh yea, Someone From The Dark!!

On people... (and how stupid some of them can be)

Well, where to start. Oh, I know! People can be REALLY stupid sometimes. And you can tell them they are being stupid over, and over, and over again, but they don't listen. Even if they say they know they are being stupid they A.) don't care or B.) say they don't know how to fix it. So obviously you try to help them and they just look at you like YOU are the idiot. Gah! Come on people! You all say you wan't honesty but you all know you can't handle the truth. Then you get mad for me being "mean" when I'm really just trying to help you. How does that work? Oh yea, it works because people are hypocrites. I know I am, but I will gladly admit to it. I have no shame in telling you that you're being stupid even though I've done the same thing. How else would I know that it's stupid? Mistakes really are the best way to learn, but why do we all have to make our own mistakes? Can't we learn from others and save eachother the pain?

I'm sorry if this hurts your feelings. Everybody is an idiot at some point. I still love you all. It's just... frustrating to see this happening, knowing how it will end, and not being able to do anything about it. It doesn't just affect the two people "involved". It will affect me too. Do I mean nothing? Do I have to watch these two fall apart? I will be the one putting them back together. Don't I get a break? It's always me. I know you think it's voluntary, but it's not. I HAVE to help. I can't just sit by and not care. I don't have the ability to be so cruel. If I did, life would be alot less complicated for me. Then again, I'd be alot less likable too. There would be quite a few more emo people in the world... or maybe even a few less people in general. That's why I do it. I CAN make a difference.

On whatever pops into my head...

I hate the taste and texture of Skittles, yet I love them. That's a long story but if you really think you will just die if you don't know email me. My email is on my profile. I think pie is okay but it definantly can't compete with cake. Candles in cake = BiRtHdAy!! Candles in pie = Someone is drunk in the kitchen. I mean really! Wax covered pie crust?? SICK! Oh I plan on taking over the world so if you think you could help, contact me. You must: not have a fear of rabbits, be somewhat violent, have a sense of humor, and acknowledge that I am QUEEN!! Lol. I need more music on my laptop. I'm tired. I dispise Alg II/Trig and World History A.P. Did you know I'm weird? Well now you do! Yay! I'm also a dork but I love it. Don't be hatin' cuz I am confident with who I am, okay? "Be excellent to eachother." - Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure

On music...

Okay, once again this is my opinion and I'd love to hear yours so feel free to comment. I love music. Rock, Hip-Hop, R&B, Rap, Country, even Polka! If it has a beat, chances are I'll love it. There are a few select songs I dislike but I don't think it's fair to judge according to genre. Not all rock sucks just because you don't like "scream-o". Not all rap sucks just because some songs are "violent" or "offensive". Not all country is "twangy". Is that a word? Anyways, I just don't like people always forming stereotypes for EVERYTHING. Well, that's all.